Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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