Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
