So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
