i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
