Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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