all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm passing your future prison.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this will be a night to untag.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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