You're my little dorito
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
