i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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