I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
