All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
