Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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