I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize