Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
