The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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