pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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