I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
