No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
