she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
