oh god the rape fog is back!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
