and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
