And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
