I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize