idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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