she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
