I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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