Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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