sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
