i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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