Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize