This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She bit a glass in half.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
