How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
