so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
