Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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