I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
