what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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