i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
