Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize