Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
