I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
