what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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