i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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