your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
