You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
