I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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