dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
