I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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