And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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