He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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