your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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