Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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