Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
