Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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