so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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