so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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