i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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