You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
