Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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