white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize